Readers: please do not take offense to the following letter. If this doesn’t apply to you please pass it along to someone else who may benefit from it. Thank you.
Dear Bible-toting Church-goer,
I have attempted to let bygones be bygones but the insomnia is getting the best of me. I would like to thank you for thoroughly ruining my night. I was invited by your daughter and her now husband, to take part in a significant moment in the beginning of their lives together. Two people who know who I am and accepts me fully. At no time did I ever infringe on anyone else enjoyment. Knowing that this event was attended by many other religious zealous folks like yourself and out of respect for the bride and groom I made sure as to not make any moves that would directly offend anyone. But somehow you did not seem to abide by your own commandments, “do unto others…” You found it necessary to interrupt me from enjoying a dance with my girlfriend. Mind you, we were not taking part in any bumping and grinding or the latest fad of twerking, just a simple slow dance celebrating a union of family and friends.
I want you to be fully knowledgeable about the circumstances surrounding this dance. Many other members of the family, your family, my family…our family had asked and prodded repeatedly that we, my girlfriend and I, take to the dance floor and each time we smiled and declined. We did not decline because we were not in the dancing mood. We declined as to not raise any eyebrows or cause any kind of ruckus. So you can see my alarm when you approached us as we swayed in the back of the room. You see I had taken inventory of the remaining attendees and by all calculations the majority of people left were family, mind you there were very few people left. We did not make our way to center stage, you know the dance floor, in front of everyone to parley. No we were in the back corner, next to our table, talking and swaying when you decided to approach.
I was a little confused by your smile and friendly approach because what you proceeded to say was not only offensive but rude. “Hey, I understand but could ya’ll wait to do that when everyone has left.” This statement enrages me just writing it. There are so many things wrong with it. First, what makes you think that we would want to stick around and be the last couple standing? And why would we wait? Are we hiding? Are we not allowed to dance? Second, what is ‘that’? Dancing? Really? Third, why are you watching us back here in this corner and not engaging in some meaningful conversation among your own tablemates. Cousin, there were so many ways to respond to that comment. Many of which would not have left a good taste in my mouth or on my conscious. So we departed with respect for the newlyweds.
Here is my advice to you. Don’t say you understand, because you don’t. If you feel like because you are footing the bill you can state the rules then all parties involved need to know where you stand. Maybe next time have your daughter include on her wedding invites that same gender loving couples must abide by the second set of rules included, and by all means include a listing of the sgl do’s and don’ts. From this moment on consider us acquaintances, no need for us to pretend like we see eye-to-eye, because we don’t. I will consider you naïve and judgmental with no hope of changing. I will not let you interfere with my love – my love for my family or for my life. Lastly, please understand that I am not a second class citizen and will not let you attempt to reduce me to as much.
Expressively irritated and less fuming,