I decided to play it low key on Father’s Day giving all those who wanted to wish their husbands, paternal parent or paternal parent fill-in a glorious and happy day for all of the wonderful things they have done in said person’s life. I did not want to rain on anyone’s parade. I can’t say that I love anything about Father’s Day but I also have to admit that I don’t loathe the day. For me, Father’s Day is just that…a day. There are many reasons for my blasé attitude which I did not want to weigh down my social media profile with but today I need a release so feel free to skip this post if you love your dad, step-dad or the father of your children because this post is not one oozing with love but more on the loss of it, if you will.
Sure I have a father, a dad-sometimes, he is really more of a sperm donor. He offered up his DNA, contributed to my genetic make-up and then pretty much left sleeping dogs lay. I can say he was present during the beginning stages of my life from birth until about eleven or twelve when he was still married to my mother but let’s be honest about this relationship. It was one riddled with abuse in every form – verbal, mental and physical. My siblings and I can attest to the fact that by the grace of some divine spiritual being we can continue to breathe the polluted oxygen on this not as green Earth.
I will be the first to admit to harboring some hostility and resentment that continues to brew and fester with each passing moment. Even though this man has threatened to take my life on multiple occasions (and he had the means to do it), I continue to provide him with opportunity after wasted opportunity to redeem himself. One would think that he would pull out all the stops to make the precious and momentous milestones in the lives of his descendants but he continually disappoints without fail.
During my call to my brother, to wish him a Happy Father’s Day, I learned that my father is definitely avoiding my calls intentionally and has the nerve to be angry with me. My brother stated that I ruined his, my dad’s, Christmas vacation plans by having an attitude with him because he did not attend my college graduation which he knew about for six months. Excuse me. My brother went on to say that my father explained that I can “go to hell” because he doesn’t agree with my lifestyle which I’m sure he meant my love because my loving isn’t a lifestyle not something I chose it’s who I am but I digress. My sperm donor also proclaimed that if my brother agreed with me that there was no need for the two of them to talk any longer. My brother, actually stood his ground, told my father to grow up and stop being an ass. My brother said if I love her he doesn’t care because he loves me. My brother went on to let the old man know that I have been there for him always and will remain to always be there for him because you see my brother knows through thick or thin, water or fire, love will stand true and I have love for my brother!
So to all those of you blessed with a genuine father or father figure congratulations you are one of the lucky ones. Please don’t take him for granted. I am not a man hater. I am raising five young men who are going to be FABULOUS fathers because I won’t settle for less. I in fact know lots of men who are great fathers and although I did not give a shout out to any one in particular, I applaud them on the daily because Father’s Day was meant for them. Here’s to today not being Father’s Day!